#068: Truth, Hope & Healing After Marriage Betrayal with Vicki Tiede
In this powerful episode, I sit down with author, speaker, and coach Vicki Tiede to discuss the journey of healing from betrayal, sexual addiction, and infidelity. Vicki shares her expertise in helping women heal—regardless of their husband’s choices—by setting healthy boundaries, reclaiming their identity in Christ, and learning to walk in wholeness. We dive into what true restoration looks like, why honest, vulnerable communication is vital for marriage, and how couples can rebuild trust through intentional connection. Vicki introduces the HONEST framework—a practical tool for fostering meaningful conversation and emotional intimacy. She also shares the concept of the coping cup, a simple but profound way to recognize emotional capacity and prevent overwhelm. No marriage is immune to betrayal, but there is hope, healing, and a path forward—whether together or apart. If you or someone you know is walking through the pain of betrayal, this episode offers wisdom, encouragement, and tangible next steps.
Take-aways:
- Healing is possible, regardless of the spouse's choices. A woman can heal and find peace even if her husband refuses to change.
- True change requires both heart transformation and behavior change. Checking off boxes in a support group isn’t enough—real accountability and action are necessary.
- Boundaries create safety. Whether staying or leaving, a betrayed spouse can set healthy boundaries that protect their well-being, and allow them space to grieve, heal and renovate life!
- Honest, consistent communication is key. Couples need intentional daily conversations beyond the logistics and more than just a few passing moments. We need to continuously date our spouse, communicate, have fun, and communicate! The HONEST tool helps to foster this deep connection. This structured conversation approach is an acronym to help you rev up the engines for your deep conversations - it stands for Honor, Ownership, Need, Emotion, Sobriety/Self-Care, and Thankfulness. HONEST conversations will help to rebuild that trust.
and speaking of trust… - Intimacy is built on trust - we need honesty, safety, trust, and vulnerability in order to create an inviting space. Without these things, true intimacy cannot exist.
- Every marriage is vulnerable to betrayal. No one is immune—if you don’t take care of your marriage, your marriage will be vulnerable for infiltration - from online temptations or the 1000’s of other temptations that are around us on a daily basis…. we need to make an intentional effort to protect our marriages, and keep them in the kind of good shape that best serves both spouses, and the entire family as well.
- Schedule time with your spouse! PUt each other on your calendar - whether that is for fun, for conversation for a dinner out a date or something more intimate!! This time together is needed so you can connect - it will keep that marriage strong! So Prioritize date nights and those meaningful conversations to maintain a close connection with your spouse.
- Self-awareness and emotional regulation are vital. Learning to understand and be aware of our own personal stress levels (which Vicki refers to as the “coping cup”) allows us to be better equipped to respond to life… rather than react. You wouldn’t try running a ½ marathon after staying up all night and fasting for the week… so make the same considerations for your emotional energy levels and your coping cup - when your cup has room to handle complexity and stress, you will be able to have healthier and more productive conversations.
- Grieving is necessary for healing. Just like a wound needs to clot, grieving is required to allow the heart to heal… to process the situation, the circumstances, to process the pain and move toward renovation - something completely new - NOT that we’ll be returning to what was… that relationship is not what we WANT anyway… but rather grieve and process so you can be equipped to consider creating something completely new - a new creation, a new relationship with our spouse… something that is based on truth, 100% complete honesty, safety and trust..
Vicki Tiede’s LINKS:
- https://liferenovationcc.com/
- [email protected]
- Book: When Your Husband Is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart: https://a.co/d/1smBl7t
- the Assoc of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists: https://www.apsats.org/
Lisa Roers's LINKS:
- Free Guide: 5 Ways to Fast: https://www.lisaroers.com/5ways2fast2025-OG
- Website: www.LisaRoers.com
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SunshineCafePodcast/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/SunshineCafePodcast/
